I want to be more like the Thessalonicans
In my continuos effort to first find out who the true Jesus of the bible is and second to model my life after this bold and adventurous man I have found that I am nothing like him. I am nothing like him because all Jesus did with his time on earth was love people and speak against those who did not. As I read and search through the gospel I find that I am more like the despicable, judgmental, and hateful Pharisee then like my loving and compassionate Jesus. In my efforts to change this I see that it is going to take a lot more then just wanting and a lot more doing. Jesus loved at all times, and sadly that is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I feel much love for my family and my friends but this of course is because I receive much love from them. I believe my problem is that I can not love with out knowing that I will get something back from that person, loving them just because I have an eternal access to the greatest love there is, is just not a good enough incentive for me i guess, which of course is sad and pathetic. I love serving people, any person really, the people closest to me or people who need to the most. But loving them while I serve them is a different story. I do not hate them, or resent them in any way I guess I am just apathetic towards them and not for any particular reason. And that is the thing about apathy, it destroys that deepest part of your heart so you don’t know and of course care that you are apathetic. I once heard that the opposite of love is not hate it is apathy. This of course makes complete sense, because if I hate you I am taking the time and the energy to feel something towards you but if I am apathetic towards you it just means that I do not think you are worthy my energy and time. Sometimes I wish that I hated everyone because I think it would be a lot easier to break that habit and go back to loving them, when you feel apathetic towards most everyone it is extremely hard to break that habit and choose to feel something for them. This is my continual struggle to turn my lack of feeling and emotion (apathy) towards people to deep, real, compassionate love for them. As I read through 1 Thessalonians the main thing that stuck out to me about these people that Paul was writing to was there endless flow of love for the people around them. In 1 Thessalonians 4:10 it says ” And in fact you do love all the brothers throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers, to do so more and more”. These people obviously got the loving people part down pretty well and Paul is still urging them to do it more and more. I want to be more like the Thessalonicans and love fearlessly and without exceptions, a love that has no limits.
